Photo by Nalin Bhutt
Perhaps this is an ever-more familiar scene: mom sits down at the computer to catch a glimpse of the news, write a quickly-formulated email, even browse Facebook for a guilty second; within minutes her four-year-old son pops over and says, "Type 'fireman,' 'sam,' 'helicopter' and see what comes up, mama." I really cannot believe it, but my child is conveying his desires in keywords. My how things have changed. And it's not just that. My two-year-old sits in front of our iMac and brushes his index finger across the screen to get the page to change. Unbelievable. And this is in a house that has a very limited technology and television presence for the kids. They are allowed one-to-two hours of video a week (we don't have a television, so the video is on the computer or the iPad), and that usually happens on the weekend, and they maybe get 10-15 minutes on some sort of tech device every day or two at the most. And yet...
It's a different world than when I grew up, and their minds and bodies have the dexterity and drive to handle it all. My kids go to a Waldorf-inspired preschool, so technology and television is quite frowned upon at most stages of development and education, but somehow I don't know how it will be possible to avoid the inevitability of it all, and, honestly, I'm not sure I'm altogether opposed to the ways in which technology will inherently alter the ways in which they learn and gather information. Nalin and I are in agreement when it comes to too much video or television. The passivity it engenders is not at all good for creative development. And yet it is a much more complicated landscape. Last fall, The New York Times had an interesting article about a Waldorf school in the Bay Area that many of the top tech executives send their children. The Waldorf philosophy favors learning and physical activity through creative, applied tasks, as opposed to more traditional forms of memorization, testing, phonics, early adoption of reading, etc. And, by extension, the focus of technology in most classrooms in the country is not something that is subscribed to by these types of schools. I have yet to determine whether this is the absolute right path to travel with our kids, but there is certainly something to say for children learning how to think critically and dialogue and imagine prior to learning letters and multiplication without a larger context. And we also understand that Waldorf may not have all the answers, either. I realize that this is just the beginning of a long process with respect to our children's education; a path that we must take a central role.
Recently, these keyword searches of Ettu's and the subsequent "browsing" have created an interesting quandary. I picked him at school the other day, and he was sitting at the table sewing with another girl in his group, while his brother and another schoolmate napped on the floor nearby. He was engaged and invigorated, creating something of his very own. As soon as we got into the door of our apartment, he started asking to look at the Playmobil site on the computer to make a "wish list" of his favorite characters and sets. It occurred to me as it has in the past that our children are way too smart sometimes. The more we open the door to certain types of exposure, the harder it is to squelch. He ultimately knows that this type of thing is not an acceptable pastime at school and has the ability to focus on other more constructive and creative activities but obviously feels that we will be more lenient at home. Here is where the job gets harder. Media serves as an effective learning tool at given times and with the appropriate collaboration, but let's face it, most of us use it as an easy way to occupy our children while we get things done. And honestly, this is my biggest and most conflicted dilemma as a parent. My ideals and the realities of my day-to-day struggles often don't correspond and can even inspire a frustration that never ceases to surprise me.
Recently, there has been much in the media about the roles of women and mothers in society — at home and/or in the workplace — brought to light by comments by Hilary Rosen, directed at Ann Romney. (Catch Frank Bruni's recent op-ed in The New York Times, which is an interesting read on the subject.)
I can't say that I have followed all of the comments or news surrounding this oft-heated debate about our roles as women and as mothers (and frankly, let's not forget stay-at-home dads in this as well), whether we are at home with our kids or also working outside the home, but I can say that all of us, moms and dads alike in all our varied experiences, have a profound role: educating and providing for the creative and emotional well-being of our children. Now, if only I could find the keyword that would provide me the answers for that.